The Womanifesto
for
the Categorical
New Freedom Lady

when you see a really drunk girl leave a bar alone at night and you follow her and make sure she gets into her taxi all right,
that's self protection.
when you aren't afraid of looking like a supreme chickenshit and ask your friend to go into the public washroom with you because it creeps you out, but not for any tangible reason,
that's self protection.
when you're in the music store and pick a CD by women musicians who have your back instead of a bunch of boys who hog all the air time on the radio,
that's self protection.
when you're sitting on the bus and the man who sits next to you gives you bad vibes and you get up and and move to another seat without giving a rats ass about feeling like you're being rude,
that's self protection.
when you find out which politician is supportive of women, lesbians and motherhood and vote for her,
that's self protection.
when you look at all the beautiful women on TV and in magazines in the grocery store and think they are a part of a weird industry run by men with major, major dick complexes,
that's self protection.
when you boycott all media not responsive in every way, shape and freudian slip to women's rights,
that's self protection.
when you make a conscious effort to spend you money in women-owned establishments,
that's self protection.
when you tell your dude if he can't hold down his wad until you're damn well ready to come then e'd gonna hafta invest in a strap on dildo of your choosing,
that's self protection.
when you ask for a raise,
that's self protection.
when you insist everyone re-read Pippi Longstocking again,
that's self protection.
when you and your friends concoct plans of poetic guerilla terrorism against a teacher, fellow student, co-worker or boss who sexually harasses women,
that's self protection.
when you make an effort to correct gendered terms,
that's self protection.
when you raise your middle finger to the fuckers who honk at you while you're walking along the highway,
that's self protection.
when you buy a set of 8kg iron pumps and a self defense video and train and educate yourself,
that's self protection.
when you "accidentally" spill your drink at a man at a party who looks at your body rather vulpinely, and you don't in the least appreciate it,
that's self protection.
when you educate yourself about clitoridectomies, infibulation, forced prostitution, rapes as a war tactic and way of controlling women, the Nation of Islam, Judaism, Christianity and prepatriarchal religions, the Inquisition, women painters, photographers, filmmakers, poets, writers, activists, politicians, sex-industry workers, historians, archeologists and musicians,
that's self protection.
when you dance, jump, buy yourself a chocolate birthday cake even if your birthday's 7 months away, cavort, kiss all the girls you love to love, laugh, sing, shout, jump rope, daydream, climb trees, eat with your fingers, break something on purpose, throw a tantrum, fart loud, skip and pin your friends to the ground and tickle them,
that's self protection.
everytime you look in the mirror and your heart races because you think,
"i'm so fucking rad,"
that's self protection.
protect yourself.