When You Should Consider Writing a Personal Biography
1. You walk in to a washroom in a daze, start getting the imaginary gunk on ur palm out under the tap and sees a male getting out one of the cubicles. You go back to what you're doing until you realise that you're not male. You realise that he's a pervert and stare at his reflection while he looks at yours all weirded out. He scurries out of the washroom and you smile in truimph. You turn around to get the papertowels and see urinals by the wall.
2. You get home and go to bed at 7pm, all tired. You wake up and realise the house's in total darkness. You freak out because you havent drawn the storyboards, haven't done your APA referencing, haven't edited the essays and start prancing around like a monkey in your room in the dark. You realise you haven't turned on the light. You flick the switch and realise it's only 10:30. 10:30p.m.
3. You start perving on your hot distant cousin during an engagement dinner your mom dragged you to attend.
4. You go to a friend's house for the first time. You know, those old kinda 3-room apartment blocks where all the flats look the same? You go downstairs to grab food for the both of you and when you return, you realise that the family's back. You tactfully smile, enter the house and say hello until you realise you dun see that LCD TV you were gawking at in the living room is no longer there. Picking up what's left of your dignity after realising you have just walked into another person's house, you smile, say bye, rush out and hope these people will never see your face again.
5. You're gonna write a "-Insert lecturer's name here-'s so fat" Joke Book & you're convinced it'll be a best sella. Next to your life story. And next to your tabloid, of course.
6. You say devouring Fullerton's Chocolate Mudpie's orgasmic.
7. You say watching an actor with a receding hairline speak a language you don't understand at all (i.e.: Spanish) orgasmic.
8. You get delirious when you find and buy India Arie's, Alanis Morisette's & Dixie Chicks CDs at Cash Convertors- at dirt cheap prices.
9. You love your bolster.
10. You got an ego of 2 men. But you're got the intellect of a couple dozen. And you're a feminist bitch.
[And for the curious, yes, you may laugh. Above spells L-I-F-E as it is for me now. Tsk.] posted by Fuzzy @ 22:28