1. The Random Post: Usually a journal account of what has been happening in my life
2. The Prose: I can't write poetry, so I write prose. And yeah, it's very 'cheem', as Ah Fang would say. Yeah.
3. The Bitchfest: A form of training for my editorial on my tabloid. Probably my favourite category as it usually generates alot of feedback from readers. Ah, such heightened voyeurism.
4. The Not-Meant-to-Be-Read: I have alot of saved drafts on blogger. sad me.

Enough about me, let's get down and dirrrrty.

Disclaimer: Fazillah Abdul Gaffa will not be responsible for any bruised egos resulting from the following list. She will, of course, bitchslap any anonymous taggers on her tagboard after this post. Kindly have the balls to give me your name when you wanna tell me to fuck off. Thanks.

A Salute to The Failed Bloggers

• The I'm-too-Stupid-to-Use-the-Spellcheck-Tool Blogs.

• The I-think-I'm-SO-Hot Blogs

This blogs never fail to amuse me. It's amazing how there is an influx of fashion magazines in the world and people still fail to realise that some things are not meant to be worn. I mean, really. Sometimes, I look at people [actually, I love it when Ailing & me scrutinise The Fugly & start bitching] and wonder 'what in the name of bleeding fuck are they wearing?!'

Then I realise, what they're wearing are things that we [aka normal people] would see in a store and go 'Who in the name of bleeding fuck will buy that?!'

At the end of the road, net-shawl things aren't cool unless you're as hot as Elyse Sewell [America's Next Top Model Season 1 Runner Up- Hot Stuff!], trucker caps are so passe and for normal people, gold is only meant for accessories & small details.

Thanks.

• The Fucken Chinks who Can't Type/Write Decently Blogs

Im no racist, so yeah. It's just the damn Cheena-piang types that bugs me with the 'le' and the "liao' and the whachamallaitchinkspeak. Seriously. God bless your News Writing group. And the rest of your groups for that matter. And seriously, think about it, your "dear" looks like a cross between a bulldog & a babboon with orange fur and you wanna marry him?!

Tsk.

• The Imma-Horny-Slut Blogs

The sexually deprived / The sex machines / The ones who don't zip their pants/skirts/whatever.

Shut the fuck up and stop disgusting the world with your sexual fantasies. Go join a whorehouse. And sorry, mine's not open for you. You're too ugly for my liking.

• The Blogs with Music

Ok. I know. TONS of my friends have blogs with musics. And I used to as well. Until I realised how fucken irritating it is to be listening to India Arie and then to suddenly be jolted out of your muthafucken senses when you go on to a blog that plays Good Charlotte [however you spell that.].

Oh. And blogs with Hillary Duff's songs. omg. omg. omg. FUCK. I HATE HER. I HATE HER SONGS. period.

• The Ones that have Pop-up Bullcrap that say: Click OK if You Love Me

You know, those things when you enter a site and there's this pop up thing you HAVE to click OK. When people like Alisa do it, it's endearing. But when people like some muthafucken fuckass in mass comm who doesnt do work has it on her blog, I'm like, really, man. Think about it. Who in their right mind would even love you?!

And you can quit preaching about Jesus now because i i bet even your God's ashamed to have someone like you praying to em.

[Cue: Gasp!]

• The Broken Hearted Blogs

I'm really sorry your boyfriend broke up with you. But really, I think you're the most pathetic thing that has ever lived. You fall perfectly into the categories of women who bring the feminist movement back to the middle ages.

• The Ones who Use One Word Far Too Much

Your unselfish concern for the welfare of the rest of the world overwhelms me. It's amazing how much selflessness one can radiate. Your compassion is beyond evaluation. Oh, how philanthropical you are.

I managed four entire sentences without the word 'altruism'. Hah. Beat that.

• The Downright Ugly.

I am a visual creature. I love colour. I love art. Even my notes are a pretty sight [heh.] Even if someone isn't artistic, whachamacallit, wouldnt the Bauhaus project in Year 1 have at least helped you to choose colours? Seriously. WAH LAU.

I. Cannot. Stand. Colour. Clashes.

Oh, somebody teach these people SOMETHING!

......

Before I forget, Happy 20th Birthday to my darrrlin Leanna. You the bomb, baybee. And we're gonna bring the hawse down once your bleeding A Levels are over. And have I mentioned how fucking hot you look in your graduation photos?!!!

And the Veetaples whom I'll be seeing tmr and whom I'll never get sick of seeing, Happy 22nd [eee, so old] Birthday! I lurve you alot alot. mwah!

And to Jvlz. Happy 19th Birthday! Keep on the Bangbus spirit. Heh.


Ok. Imma go study. Later, ya'll.