Letter.
I guess on one hand, it's comforting to know that you'll never read this because you only log on the net to book airline tickets or make hotel reservations and not surf blogs aimlessly. But on the other, there's this haunting voice at the back of my head praying that somehow, you would.
I know you've always told me that you won't expect any form of monetary repayment for bringing me up, and that you'll be happy as long as I'm successful. The problem is, is the idea of success for me equivalent to yours? As far as I'm concerned, at 18, I've never imagined a success this big for me.
For once, I'm truly happy. For once, I'm doing what I love. And for once, I'm actually damned good at almost everything I've set out to do.
For as long as I could remember, I sought your approval for almost everything I do. I wanted to prove to you that I was worthy, I wanted to prove that I was worth your love, I was worth your time, your money, your effort.
And during all that time, all I have ever wanted was for you to actually be proud of me and who I have become.
It's about five months to 19 years now, and honestly, I know you're not proud of me.
I'm sorry. I really am. I'm sorry I won't turn out to be a teacher, a lawyer, a doctor, an engineer. I'm sorry I can't take the routes you picked out for me. I'm sorry I probably won't ever earn 20K per month like so-and-so's son who's Apple's regional manager. My God, I know, as long as I remain a writer for the magazine publishing industry in Singapore, I'll never be rich. I'm sorry I'll probably live paycheck-to-paycheck, I'm sorry I probably can't buy you a hugeass house and a car and let you live happily during your retirement years.
I'm sorry if you've ever been sorry for allowing me choice, because as far as I'm concerned, permitting me to come to my own decision was the best thing you've ever done for me.
I'm sorry I didn't grow up to be that perfect little daughter I once was. yes, I still wear my hair in pigtails occasionally, and my favourite colours are still pink and purple, but I'm too much my own person now and I hope you leave those dreams behind.
With much love.
posted by Fuzzy @ 21:30
Comments:
I think that's really sweet & wistful. That's what parents do. They expect everything to be done according to their way but when we don't, we're a disappointment no matter how much we like what we have or what we are doing. Don't ya worry about that. They'll see that soon enough.
# posted by 
: 11:59 am
: 11:59 am
It's a pity but hey, you're proud of yourself and that's what really matters. Your mom and dad really just want you to be happy. They may not approve of your career choice but trust me, they really, really, really, want you to be happy.
When push comes to shove, your parents will stick up for you. You'll see.
This sounds fucking cheesy. But sometimes, cheesy works.
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When push comes to shove, your parents will stick up for you. You'll see.
This sounds fucking cheesy. But sometimes, cheesy works.